


The Conquest of Kirktropolis

by bonesmctightass



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alien Planet, Alternate Universe, Crack, Drabble, Gen, I Blame Tumblr, I don't know whether to apologize or say y'all are welcome, No Slash, Out of Character, but only slightly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 12:26:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8327785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonesmctightass/pseuds/bonesmctightass
Summary: Jim sets his sights on an uncharted planet.





	

Based on [this](http://karlurbanana.tumblr.com/post/73455446691/star-trek-au-where-instead-of-saying-fascinating) post. Also the uniforms include shutter shades because reasons. #illogicool #hipsterfleet

* * *

“Planet on screen, Captain.” Jim observes the monitor with burning curiosity and unrestrained excitement. An unexplored, uncharted planet, ripe for the taking. Perhaps he’ll call it Kirktropolis. That has a nice ring to it. 

“Status report, Mister Spock.” 

The Vulcan is peering over his console while the computer analyzes the planet’s composition. “Breathable atmosphere, presence of flora and fauna. No signs of humanoid life forms, primitive or otherwise.” 

Jim hums thoughtfully and leans forward in his chair to better scrutinize the foreign mass. “Thoughts?” 

Spock stands to his full height and descends the stairs, coming to a stop beside the captain’s chair. He peers through his shutter shades and regards his superior with the highest esteem. “It is my opinion, Captain, that this planet is hella cool.”

“I couldn’t agree more. Mister Chekov, set coordinates for the drop zone. No man has ever set foot on this planet before. Who knows what we’ll find down there. Yolo, I say!”

The roster for the landing party includes McCoy, Spock, a couple of redshirts as a safety precaution, and of course Jim. Beam down goes as smoothly as ever. Even McCoy doesn’t complain. The planet’s surface is littered with brilliant plant life unlike anything any of them have ever seen. 

Even the grass is a stunning shade of blue, like the Terran sky. Jim marvels at it. He gets right down to his knees to examine its texture and finds it soft and inviting. Yes, Kirktropolis is turning out to be most exciting. If he weren’t so pumped full of adrenaline and the overwhelming urge to explore, he might consider rolling onto his back and taking a nap. 

McCoy is busily examining a nearby tree with the strangest pinkish bark and purple leaves. Low hanging fruit bows the branches and he plucks a particularly ripe looking specimen. McCoy pushes his shades up his forehead to rest on his hair so he can examine it more closely. Throwing caution to the wind he takes a bite of it and finds it quite pleasant. “Well I’ll be. Tastes like a fresh Georgia peach. Hey Jim, you’ve got to try one of these!” The Captain is much too preoccupied with bounding over the rocks through the meadow to listen. McCoy rolls his eyes. Typical Jim Kirk. 

“Spock? You like fruit. Try this, it’s pretty damn good. Nothin’ like that synthesized garbage we get back home.” 

The Vulcan pauses in his observation of a spotted shrubbery and steps over to the tree. McCoy drops a fruit into Spock’s outstretched hand. The skin is smooth and firm. He raises a brow and looks at it skeptically. 

“Well get on with it, already. I ain’t gettin’ any younger.” 

If Spock could snort he probably would have. He looks particularly unamused but takes a bite anyway. It is indeed delicious. Spock is quite pleased. 

He utters one word, so quiet McCoy has to strain to hear it.

“Bitchin’.”


End file.
